Only to Be With You
by SuperCellist
Summary: An EO love story, as usual. It doesn't really have a summary. This is my first story with chapters, so read and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Late at night, Olivia Benson's bedroom**

I wake up slowly and reluctantly. I have been having one of those dreams again (probably also the dream of every woman in my building). The ones of Elliot Stabler: my partner and the man I love. When I wake up from these dreams, it's as if he's standing there in front of me, so big and strong and handsome. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, and he closes it again. How I wish that the words, "I love you." would take shape in those red lips, lips I crave to kiss.

I remember the first day I met him. I awoke that morning nervous and excited. I was going to start my new job as an SVU detective. I wanted to make a good impression, so I spent extra time making myself up. Later, I learned that this was a bad idea, since it would all be ruined when I, well, did my job. I drove to my new office, wondering what my new partner would be like. I had not heard much about him, only that his name was Elliot Stabler and he had a reputation for scaring people if they were ever so unlucky as to be around him when he was pissed off. I had also heard that he was intimidating. I expected him to be old, fat, strict, and generally irritating, so I wasn't really looking forward to the experience. As I got to the SVU door, I braced myself.

I could hear the detectives discussing me, no doubt. My eyes traveled around them all. The first one I saw was short, with light brown hair that stuck up all over the place. The next one was old, with gray hair and dark glasses. Whenever he talked, he looked over the top of his glasses at whoever he was speaking to. When I looked at the next one, my heart beat pleasantly faster. He was gorgeous, and had blue eyes and dark brown hair that was cropped close to his scalp. _Is that my partner?_ I wondered. _I think I can get used to that. _I reached out with a shaky hand and opened the door.

They lazily turned and looked at who was coming in. When they saw me, they stood at attention. I stood apart from them; meeting new people makes me jumpy. The captain came out of his office. I had already met him, so at least everyone wasn't new.

"Welcome, Olivia. Got here okay?" he asked gently.

I only nodded, unable to speak.

"Well then, let's get introduced," he said, and pointed to the short one. "This is Brian Cassidy, and his partner" (here he pointed to the old one) "John Munch."

They both shook my hand, and Munch gave me his over-the-glasses look. The Grecian god was still staring at me, and it was making me really nervous.

"And this is your partner, Elliot Stabler," the captain said.

Then a strange thing happened. When I shook his hand, I felt a connection that went from his hand to my heart. When I looked into his eyes, I saw something there. It was then and there that I fell in love with my new partner, Elliot Stabler.

I remember that day fondly, because it was one of the best days of my life. I found the man I'd always dreamed of finding, and I loved him purely, and without boundaries. I could only hope that he loved me back.

Work was hard those first few months, because we didn't _know _each other yet. Sometimes I watched Munch and Cassidy, and noted how well they worked together. And once in a while, I would turn and find my own partner watching me, and we would lock eyes for a few short moments before he would turn away. Those were the times I loved, when I could look at what I loved.

After about a year we became like Munch and Cassidy. We were finishing each other's sentences and we could tell, just by looking, what the other was thinking. This got cases solved a lot faster. I treasured each moment that I had with my partner. I couldn't imagine what he felt.

Then there was one day that really changed my outlook. I had been a very hard few hours. We had been to a lot of houses, asking people the same questions over and over again. No one wanted to help us. We were at a school, in one of the classrooms, asking a teacher about one of her students who had gone missing. For no apparent reason, she had gotten mad at me, and was screaming at me. She called me a few names, none of which I wish to repeat, and stomped out. I was so stressed and unhappy that I began to cry. I could feel Elliot's eyes on me, and that made me cry harder.

"Liv?" he asked (only he could call me that without getting his ass kicked).

"Yeah, El?" I answered through my tears as I tried, unsuccessfully, to calm down.

Suddenly I was in his arms. He pressed my head against his chest and stroked my hair gently and reassuringly. I listened to the thump thump of his strong heartbeat and I very soon stopped crying. Then I put my arms around him and pulled him closer. I could feel his muscles tense, then relax.

"Shhhhhhh," he whispered in my ear, his warm breath sending chills through me. "Everything's going to be all right." I almost lost mastery over my feelings and told him what was in the depths of my soul right there in the comfort of his arms. We stood there for a few minutes, each content to be holding the other.

The ride back to the precinct was silent, as we were both thinking about what had just happened. We didn't speak to each other much for the rest of the week, then dismissed it and became friends again. But I will never forget the feeling of his strong arms around me.

Thinking about the man I love, I am able to go back to sleep, knowing I'll be seeing him in a few hours. As I drift off, I whisper a little something to him: "Goodnight, El. I love you."

_Oh, my man, I love him so_

_He'll never know_

_All my life is just despair_

_But I don't care_

_When he takes me in his arms_

_The world is bright all right_

_What's the difference if I say_

_I'll go away_

_When I know I'll come back on my knees someday_

_For whatever my man is_

_I am his_

_Forever more_


	2. Chapter 2

**Late at night, Elliot Stabler's bedroom**

I wake up late at night with a smile on my face. I have been dreaming the dream of probably every man in my building: the one of Olivia Benson, my partner "in crime." I try no to allow myself to think, but the first thought that comes to my mind is _I love her._ I can almost reach out and touch her. I long to hold her in my arms and kiss her soft lips. She is so beautiful; my heart skips beats whenever I see her.

I can still remember the first day I met her. Munch, Cassidy, and I were talking about how hard it was going to be training my new partner. We had not heard a lot of things about her, only that her name was Olivia Benson and that she had a stubborn streak. I expected her to be short (that didn't matter, since _everyone_ was shorter than me), dumpy, and demanding. I still missed my old partner, so I wasn't really looking forward to getting a new one, especially when I didn't think much of her. Then I heard the door open.

I looked around and jerked into a standing position. Walking cautiously into the precinct was the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on in my life. _Maybe she mixed this dump up with the modeling agency - or heaven._ I thought. Then it dawned on me: _Is that my new partner? I think I can get used to that._ I could really get used to it.

Cragen came out of his office and made all the usual introductions. I hoped Munch didn't intimidate her when he looked over his glasses at her (although _I'm _the one with the reputation). He doesn't mean any harm by it, I guess it's just to see better. Olivia seemed very nervous, and I wanted to calm her down. But the weirdest thing happened when I shook her hand that have never been able to explain: I felt a shock of electricity go through her hand to my heart. I felt her immediately relax. And it was then and there that I fell in love with my new partner, Olivia Benson.

That's the day I call into my head when I need a pick-me-up. If I think hard enough, I can see her in front of me, and I can almost touch her perfect ivory skin. All I hope and wish for is that she loves me back.

Those first few months, work was hard. We didn't _understand_ each other like real partners did. When she looked at me to try and get a point across, all I could do was goggle at her and think how beautiful she was, and I would miss what she said. Then she would get annoyed with me because I wasn't listening. I've gotten over that now (sort of...not really...no). She could never stay angry with me, though, and neither could I with her.

Then a day came that gave me hope. It had been a trying day; we had been to countless houses, asking the same questions over and over again. Our last stop was a school, and we were questioning a teacher about one of her students who was missing. She had gotten offended at something Liv had said, and started calling her some names, which made me very angry and made me want to slap her, but I kept my temper in check. Then the teacher stomped out, leaving us alone. My eyes had been on Liv the whole time. I could see her fortresses breaking and then she began to cry.

It was painful to watch. I was irate at the teacher for making Liv cry, amazed because Olivia never cries (at least not when I'm around - sometimes I wish she would so I could hold her and comfort her), and helpless because I didn't know how to help her.

So I did the first thing that come into my mind: I took her into my arms. I pressed her head to my chest and stroked her silky hair. I could feel the tense muscles relaxing under my arms. I laid my chin on top of her head and took in her sweet scent.

When _her_ arms went around _me_, I almost lost complete control (or what little I had) and spilled my soul to her right there while she rested against my chest.

Neither of us said a word when we drove back to the precinct. We were both thinking about what had just happened back there. We almost didn't talk to each other for the rest of the week, but when we got a few weird looks, we dismissed it and became friends again. But I will never forget the feeling of her in my arms.

Thinking about this woman that I love, I am able to relax and sleep. I whisper a little something to her as I drift off: "Goodnight, Liv. I love you."

_Have I told you lately_

_That I love you?_

_Have I told you_

_There's no one else above you?_

_You fill my heart with gladness_

_Take away all my sadness_

_You ease my troubles_

_That's what you do_


	3. Chapter 3

**Early morning, Casey Novak's kitchen**

I sit at my kitchen table, thinking about a bad dream I just had. Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson were in it. In the dream, I was in the precinct with Elliot and Olivia. I lost all pretenses and told Elliot that I loved him. He looked at me, laughed, and said, "I love Olivia." Then everyone else started to laugh and I woke up.

I had had a crush on Elliot Stabler ever since I first met him. I was sitting in my office when I heard a knock.

"Come in!" I said without looking up.

When I did look up, I saw two of the most gorgeous people I have ever seen. The woman, I knew, was Olivia Benson. The man I hadn't met yet. He was tall, incredibly attractive, and well muscled, with blue eyes and short brown hair. I fell for him right on the spot.

"This is my partner, Elliot Stabler," Olivia introduced us.

I shook his hand and gaped at him. I must have looked like a fool. Olivia was trying not to laugh, and Elliot gave her a playful look. Then, as hard as it was, we got down to business.

It wasn't until they left that I realized they were in love with each other. So I sat down at my desk and thought.

I still had a huge crush on Elliot, but he was in love with Olivia. I also knew that Olivia was in love with Elliot. It was so obvious that I wondered they didn't notice it. Considering all this, I didn't stand a chance with Elliot, unless some miracle happened. Still, I wasn't going to mess up their true love. I wasn't that stupid; I wasn't a young girl anymore.

Whenever I went into the precinct, I watched them. It hurt me every time they looked at each other. I had trouble concentrating on what Elliot was saying when we were alone (and I bet he told Olivia about all of this). Olivia never said anything or made me feel bad, though.

I bring his face into my mind to comfort myself. I sip my early morning coffee and wonder what it would be like if he loved me (really, what it would be like to be Olivia). I try not to let the thought creep into my mind that he is totally in love with Olivia.

I look at my watch for realize I have to go to work. Thinking that I might see Elliot today makes me feel better. I get up and finish my coffee.

_You'll be in my heart_

_You'll be in my heart_

_From this day on_

_Now and forever more_


	4. Chapter 4

**Morning, Olivia Benson's kitchen**

I munch on my cereal and think about what this day will bring. I just know I'll be chasing perps, drinking too much coffee, wracking my brains about seemingly unsolvable cases, watching Elliot, and falling more and more in love with him. I want to be able to lean against his strong body in times of trouble. I want those gentle blue eyes to rest on me and hold all the love in the world.

Suddenly, the phone rings. It startles me out of my calming thoughts and I sit frozen for a few seconds before I realize I have to answer it. Who could be calling me at this hour?

"Hello?" I ask quickly.

"It's Elliot, Liv," says the voice I love to hear.

"Oh, hey, El, how're you doing?" I ask, because I hear something in his voice.

"Um...I'm going to pick you up today, okay?" he ignores my question by asking one himself.

"I guess. Do you want to tell me something?" I ask cautiously; I don't want to get him mad.

"Uh, not...I'll see you in half an hour, okay?" he asks.

"Okay, see you then," I respond, and he hangs up the phone.

I am utterly confused. He knows I hate being taken care of. The only other time he tried to take care of me was when Richard White was stalking me. What is he going to tell me?

The buzzer rings. I go to answer the door and see Elliot standing there. He tries to smile at me, but it comes out as a crooked grin that lasts for a second. Now I'm worried.

"What's wrong, El?" I ask gently as I walk to the car with him. He just looks at me.

"El, come one, you can tell me," I'm still trying not to prod. He still won't talk.

We drive along in silence. I'm trying to figure out what's going on here. Then I notice that we're not going to the precinct. We're on the way to his apartment.

"El, what are you doing?" I ask, now really serious. "Why aren't we going to the precinct?"

He stops the car in front of his apartment and looks at me with a gaze that brings so many feelings to my heart that I can't describe.

"I called in a sick day for both of us," he says quietly.

_I'll never say no to you_

_Whatever you say or do_

_If you ask me to wait_

_For a lifetime_

_You know I'll gladly wait_

_For a lifetime or two_

_Just to look at you_


	5. Chapter 5

**Morning, Elliot Stabler's kitchen**

Even though my kitchen is a little chilly, I feel warm all over just thinking about my dream of Liv. I whistle a tune as I get out my bowl and cereal. I actually feel happy since Kathy and I divorced. Liv is about the only person who can make me feel better on bad days just by looking concerned. She hates it when people try to take care of her; I do, too, unless Liv does it. She almost killed me when Richard White was stalking her and I tried to protect her.

I eat my cereal and think about another hard day at work. I'll bet I'll be running around like a crazy man, chasing people, drinking too much coffee, getting warrants, wishing I were home, watching Liv, and falling more and more in love with her. I want her to rest her head on my chest when she's troubled. I want her big, brown eyes to look into mine with that look of concern that makes my heart melt. I want to come home to her every night.

It's now that I realize how much I really love her, how much I really need her. She is my lifesaver, the rock I cling to when the sea of my life turns turbulent. I go to her when I need help; she was the one who got me through the divorce. I don't think I'll ever be able to tell her how much she means to me.

But if I don't try soon, I might lose her...

I dial the precinct's number.

"Hello? How may I help you?" a woman's voice asks.

"Elliot Stabler. Captain Cragen, please," I ask impatiently. I wait a few moments.

"Hello, Elliot," Cragen greets me. "What's up?"

"I...Liv's sick and I...she and I need a sick day...so I can take care of her," I stammer.

"All right," the Captain says. "And Elliot?"

"Yes?"

"Go for it."

When I get to Liv's door, I almost lose my courage, but I straighten and ring the buzzer.

When she gets downstairs, I am amazed, as always, at how beautiful she is. I try to grin at her, but it doesn't work, for the task ahead is serious.

Liv keeps asking me what's wrong, but I can't answer her, though I want to. I don't trust myself to speak. Not yet.

When she turns to me at my apartment with that angelic look of concern in her eyes, my heart swells and I almost take her in my arms and kiss her right there.

"I called in a sick day for both of us," I say slowly.

_Did you ever know_

_That you're my hero?_

_You're everything I wish I could be_

_I can fly higher than an eagle_

_For you are the wind_

_Beneath my wings_


	6. Chapter 6

**Elliot Stabler's kitchen**

They walk up into Elliot's apartment. Olivia leans up against the counter and Elliot sits in a kitchen chair. He rubs his eyes wearily.

"Everything okay with you?" he asks when the silence becomes unbearable.

"Yeah. And you?" she questions.

"Yeah, sure."

"You and Kathy still getting along?" she asks gently.

He flinches at Kathy's name. "When the kids are around."

They sit quietly again. She is feeling uncomfortable and trying to figure herself out. He wants to know how to tell her that her loves her without making a fool of himself. He isn't coming up with any ideas yet.

"Liv?" he says as he sits up in the chair. "I want to...tell you...something."

"It's okay, El," she answers and takes his larger hand in hers. "I'm here."

He turns to look at her. "Really?" She nods.

"Oh, Liv," he sighs, and takes her in his arms. She rests her head against his chest just as he always wished she would do. He wraps his arms around her just as she always wished he would do. They sit like that for what seems like hours.

Finally, Olivia turns her face up to Elliot's. He looks down at her and smiles and infinitely knowing smile.

"El? I love you," she says without hesitation. His grin grows wider.

"I love you too, Liv," he says, with his whole heart.

She puts her hands on both sides of his face and pulls his mouth down to hers. One of his hands drops to the small of her back and the other to the back of her head as he kisses her gently at first, then with growing intensity.

Her right hand crawls down his neck to his tie. She slowly removes it and unbuttons his shirt, still kissing him. Her hand slides down his chest. She can feel each powerful muscle under his skin. Her other hand traces the creases of his ear.

The hand that's on her back goes under shirt and plays his fingers over her skin. He curls his other fingers in her hair and holds her head. His lips travel down her neck and onto her shoulder. Her arms wrap around his neck and pulls him closer. She rests her head on his shoulder and sighs. He cradles her gently against him, as if she is fragile.

They sit in their beautiful silence again. They are one, no words need be spoken now; all that would have been said is flowing from one heart to the other.

"I can't believe I didn't tell you sooner," he whispers into her shoulder. His breath pleasantly burns her skin.

"Me, neither," is all she can say.

He laughs gently, and she can feel the deep rumble in his chest.

"I love you so much, Liv," he says with all his earnestness.

"I love you more than I can say, El," she smiles.

They sit quietly talking for a few hours; they didn't know they had so much to catch up on. They are perfectly content to sit there forever, each only an extension of the other. They must not acknowledge that here is a real, outside world, for their state of being in only there, in each other's arms. Only things that can't be expressed in words are revealed in this connection.

Soon they begin to grow tired. Olivia's eyelids droop, and she yawns every once in a while. Elliot feels so comfortable, so right, so perfect with her curled up in his arms with her head against his chest that he almost drifts off the sleep a few times. Olivia's fingers on his heavy eyelids wakes him up.

"Hey, Liv, you wanna go to bed now?" Elliot whispers in her ear. She nods, yawning.

He shuffles into his bedroom and lays her gently on the sheets. He yawns widely as he crawls in next to her. Olivia laughs and he cocks and eyebrow. She tries to pull him closer to her, but she can't because he's so much bigger. He grins a little and draws her to him. She curls herself against his muscular chest and sighs.Elliot cradles her in his arms. All is well with them. As they both turn themselves over to sleep, they whisper a little something that was before only murmured to loneliness.

"Goodnight, El. I love you."

"Goodnight, Liv. I love you."

_I can see world where there is no fear_

_Where envy and hatred has long disappeared_

_I can see a day to look forward to_

_But I can't see a world without you_

_I can see a world where war has no use_

_A time that is kind and knows no abuse_

_Where children are safe to do what children do_

_But I can't see a world without you_

_I can see that you're the one who brings out in me_

_All the things I thought were gone and all I can be_

_Now I can see a world where dreams do come true_

_But I can't see a world without you_

_I can see a world with justice for all_

_There will be room for those great and small_

_With enough for everyone not just the fortunate few_

_But I can't see a world without you_

_I can see the greatest gift I got from you_

_Finding out there's not a thing that love cannot do_

_I can see a world that may never come true_

_But I can't see a world without you_


End file.
